Why should you think about adoption?
- For many young people, the decision to parent is an assumption, and not really a choice. One assumes that if the birthmother chooses not to abort that she will then parent.
- Also, adoption is a viable and positive response to an unplanned pregnancy because single parenting is not as problem free as many believe.
Increasingly, research is revealing unsettling and alarming concerns about teenage parents and their children. Statistics show that teenage mothers are likely to remain uneducated and dependent on welfare and are likely to raise large, unplanned families. At least 8 out of 10 adolescent mothers never finish high school. 90% of these young women receive welfare payments at some point in their life. Children are also not immune from the consequences just listed. They are more likely to receive welfare, to divorce, to have a child born out of wedlock, and to have their first child earlier than children from two-parent families are.
- Is marriage a better option? Not necessarily, especially if the marriage happened because of an unplanned pregnancy. 60 to 75% of all teen marriages end in divorce. If pregnancy is the reason for the marriage, the failure rate increases to 90% within the first six years of marriage. There is also the chance that the young mother will drop out of school to care for her child. As a result, she will find herself with no education and no job skills - and a 60 to 75% chance of being divorced within six years.
So why choose adoption? And now for the good news.
-
There are benefits to you. A survey done in 1982 found that unmarried birthmothers placing for adoption advanced further educationally, were more likely to subsequently marry, and were less likely to receive public assistance than mothers choosing to parent out of wedlock. Another study done in 1988 confirmed these findings.
- You won't have to parent before you're ready.
- You can continue with your education or career goals and dreams.
- You have the freedom to end or continue the relationship with the father of the child.
-
There are benefits to the children. Adopted children enjoy more socio-economic advantages than children who remain with their unmarried mothers -- they are better educated, have older mothers, and live in families with much higher incomes.
Myths & Lies About Adoption
-
A birthmother who cares about her child would not think of adoption. Many times this opinion arises out of fear of what others will think or their own wrong feelings of guilt. This is actually a very loving decision a birthmother can make.
-
A birthmother will never know anything about her child and his/her adoptive parents in the following years. The laws have changed. The amount and type of contact can be anywhere from none to regular visits with the adoptive family.
-
Adoption is an irresponsible solution to an unplanned pregnancy. Just the opposite. The birthmother is being responsible by thinking about the future of the child and how much responsibility she might not be able to really take on right now in her life.
-
A birthmother will eventually forget about the child she released for adoption. No women can ever forget a child she has given birth to.
-
All adoptees will grow up to have serious psychological problems. Research has found this to be quite the opposite. Many studies over the years have shown that there is no difference between adopted and non-adopted children in terms of adjustment, delinquency, or mental health.
-
A birthmother will have serious emotional problems if she relinquishes her child. With reputable adoption agencies there is counseling and support to help prevent such an outcome.
-
No one can love a child as much as the birthmother. One must not confuse the ability to be a good parent with the ability to give birth. Being a good parent is a matter of consistency and continuously nurturing and loving a child, not a matter of biology.
List of Adoption Agencies:
- Covenant Care Services, 3950 Ridge Ave., Macon, GA 31201
1-800-226-5683 - Bethany, 901 Eastern Ave. NE, PO Box 294, Grand Rapids, MI 49501-0294 1-800-BETHANY
1-800-868-6339
1-800-522-2913
| 
